When your friends don’t have children

One of the downside of being a early 20 something mother is not having friends with children (speaking from my experience). Most of my friends are focused on their budding careers, studies and travels. There is definitely no signs (not that I know of or see) of slowing down to have kids of their own at this given moment. If one of them tells me that they are pregnant, then I would be extremely surprised.

Luckily, my friends loves children and doesn’t mind doing activities that involves them. Most of the time we would just stay indoors (my house or their house), go to the park or eat a family friendly restaurant.  We talk about life and catch up on a billion things that I have missed out on (which I love by the way – I love stories and story telling).   But sometimes I feel almost as if I was out of place.  There are times where I just could not relate because I am totally in a different path in life (they sometimes probably feel that way too because how can they possibly relate to me talking about the handling on my stroller when they don’t even have children). They are getting excited about a trip, while I am getting excited about a stroller.  That is a stark difference. We are no longer experiencing the same things in life.

I am in no way suggesting that the contrast between our lifestyles are pulling us apart.  It is just something that I have not come to terms with.  I’ve known my friends and their families ever since high school and they are like my own. They welcomed me with open arms and vice versa.  We graduated together, laughed together, cried together, fought with each other and travelled together.  I want to be able to add “our children plays together” on this list someday. I would not throw that away over this insecurity of being out of place.  We will be forever friends (I hope).

When they do decide to have kids I will be here for them and can help them out to the best of my abilities.

5 thoughts on “When your friends don’t have children

  1. I’m lucky in that one of my closest friends from school, one of my partner’s old friends who I am now friends with and my partner’s sister in law all have children a similar age to mine! My other friends don’t which makes things a little difficult like nights out, as I can’t always drink myself silly like before, but they do primarily include my son when planning our meet ups which is thoughtful, and the sign of a very good friend! My partner is older than me and only has a couple of friends who have children, which I think is harder for him as most of his friends are nearing or hitting 30 and still acting like teenagers. His best friend is 3 years+ into a serious relationship with a lovely person which is helpful, though another close friend has just ended a serious relationship so I think it’s hard for him that a couple of his friends have gone on a lads drinking holiday at the drop of a hat and he can’t just do that like he used to, but I know having the experience of having a child at the same time as his brother is something he is ecstatic about!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are soo lucky! Your children will grow up together. It is great that your friends include your son.
      I have a very big family and have a lot of cousins around my age and that made growing up so much fun! I had a great childhood and I want my baby M to experience the same.
      My husband on the other hand is on the same boat as yours, his brother also has a child the same age as baby M. They get to experience fatherhood together at the same time which is great in my opinion.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. You are an honest writer, and I love your style! It’s so nice to meet you. 🙂 You are helping them to see the joy of the future they may have, I am sure. It’s hard to feel like you’re in a vastly different stage of life, but it’s amazing to love friends enough to watch eagerly as they travel through that road. Honest, and beautiful a post this is!

    Liked by 1 person

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